She referred to my friends as “little kids” and was unabashedly vocal about her disappointment that I had an income typical of a 20-something, as well about as her impatience for me to at least turn 30.
Same-sex dating with an age gap is an experience in extreme queerness, by which I mean your relationship is doubly invisible to society.
If the mostly-straight public already struggles to recognize two women of the same age in public together as possibly dating, it’s even less likely that you’ll read as a couple if there is a perceptible age difference between you and your partner.
She is juggling emotional or logistical fallout from a divorce.
She may have children, which come with their own set of joys and challenges for a new partner.
The first steps on my journey to becoming an adult who shuns ageism had little to nothing to do with being queer.
Rather, it began with a childhood of formative familial friendships with my brother and older cousins, mostly male.
In later years, by way of contrast, another girlfriend who was 20 years older than me seemed completely comfortable with our age difference, despite the fact that I was only seven years older than her daughter.
Her only age-related concern was that she wanted me to one day have the experience of having children, but knew she was done raising kids herself.
I’ve always found the term “May/December” to be somewhat rude, as “May/August” or “May/September” feels more apt.