Despite the high incidence of anxiety disorders, adults often don’t seek treatment until years of suffering with the disorder have passed, if they seek treatment at all.
The threat of negative evaluation from others–such as being negatively perceived by your date–is the root of social anxiety, and is exacerbated in a dating setting.
Most of the time, anxious daters highly overestimate how harshly their partner is judging them.
Anxiety disorders are the most common psychological disorder in the US, affecting 18 percent of the adult population.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is the third-most-common psychological disorder, affecting 15 million men and women in the US.
Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing.
In this way, dating only adds fuel to the anxiety fire.
Yet the last thing a shy or anxious person may feel comfortable doing is letting their guard down, which is why practicing sharing is a vital element.
Practicing self-disclosure might include letting your date know about a story or person that is special to you, sharing how you felt about a recent event, or letting your date know that you think they look great.
Rife with opportunities for awkward conversations and infinite unknown factors — – dating often is seen as overwhelmingly scary and decidedly unappealing.
This type of anxiety and shyness leads to avoidance of meeting new people, as well as a sense of isolation and hopelessness about the prospect of finding a suitable partner.
When a person feels good about who they are, their values and what they have to offer, and sees their own experience in a compassionate way, it bolsters them against judgment.