Own your power, use it wisely and stop walking around with a handy contract in your pocket ready to hand out to the next person that shows you a whiff of interest. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.The ex-lover of a teenager who was allegedly raped by footballer Ched Evans today told jurors he was “shocked” by her behaviour in bed.
Not every person you date has the potential for the relationship you envision.
When you’re already acting attached, it begs the question of whether you do this with everyone.
To treat it as anything else is to act like they’re automatically OK for a relationship deal regardless, it’s just you that has to prove yourself, which is bullshit.
Even credit card companies do a bit of homework before pre-approving you for a card – I’d like to think you’d put far more effort into choosing a potential relationship partner.
Having self-esteem which includes your boundaries and values, plus being knowledgable on code amber and red behaviour, helps you to work out your deal breakers, which are the things you cannot accept and overlook that will render your relationship over.
Some of you think you’re doing due diligence but are looking at the wrong things and then wondering why you’re not in the right relationship.
It’s like (and this is mostly for the ladies), “Jaysus, someone’s giving me the time of day! They’re interested in me so I’m gonna draw up some papers but this is a done deal either way.” Say what? When I listen to people talk about some of their dating angst, often with people they’ve known for all of a hot minute, I’d be forgiven for thinking that they must be shackled to what are practically strangers for all of eternity.
I should want a relationship with them just because. This isn’t a hostage situation – it’s a discovery situation, mutual discovery at that.
Before you commit to the idea of being in a long-term relationship with someone, maintain the commitment you should have to yourself that requires you to act in your own best interests. Then commit to using the dating phase to evaluate the potential of moving into a relationship while enjoying yourself – you do know that you can date and even get laid without losing your mind, your ability to judge a situation, or even yourself?
That said, if you’re the type of person who can’t mix sex with getting to know someone, it’s best not to ‘get down’ until you can.
It’s easier to sell it to you as something better and then leave it to you to either discover the truth when they’re long gone or be like “Oops I did it again.