"Meeting someone in a bar never quite worked out," she says.
"The bar scene was always about ' Hey baby, you're hot' after a few drinks." Though once considered the sole province of the nerdy and socially challenged, online dating has come a long way.
NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?
Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.
MISSING IN ACTIONThe scenario: “One time I was messaging back and forth with a guy for two weeks and having a great conversation, but he was taking too long to ask me out, so I stopped talking to him.” — Kelly, 32 The problem..the solution: If you’re into her, ask her out! And if you’re not, why are you still talking to her? When she’s ready to make her exit from the online dating world, she’ll let you know. ” The problem..the solution: Sending a generic message—especially one as uninteresting as this—is not what’s going to make you stand out from other guys.
If nothing else, she’ll admire the fact that you took the time to “get to know” her.
In 2000, Brenda Allison graduated from law school and moved to Chicago.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
I never went out with him again." For Allison, that night was the beginning of series of dating travails.
Despite a few duds and near misses, her perseverance—plus an online connection seven years later that resulted in a marriage proposal—would eventually reaffirm her belief that online dating is an ideal way to make a real connection with another person.
"I had to go to Kinko's and scan in a picture of myself for my profile." Soon after that, she was on a date.