When he asked her about old boyfriends, she said she was into hard-to-get bad-boy types, the kind who drive race cars and date women for their looks. But at the end of the night he wouldn’t sleep with her.
They sounded like crushes at best, not exactly real boyfriends. “I knew she already had a little crush on me, and if that happened, she’d have an unmanageable crush on me that would be difficult for both of us and end in tears for her.” So what ever happened to the idea that a man’s ultimate fantasy is to deflower a virgin?
What’s worse, the longer she waits the harder it is to find a guy — not just the right guy, but any guy — to do the honors.
But he didn’t call until the following week and things went downhill from there.
“He never really said it was because I was a virgin,” Amanda says.
These days virginity is for kids, something to outgrow during the experimental teenage years.
Of course, being a virgin late in the game is nothing new; but in a hypersexualized culture, in which teenage girls are starting to have sex at progressively younger ages and spin the bottle seems to have been replaced by the blow job, to be a virgin in her mid- to late 20s suddenly seems extreme.
It reminded her of the last time and she started to cry.
But this guy was actually nice about it, telling her things like “That guy was such an asshole” and “You should say you just haven’t found the right guy; be more self-confident.” It made her feel better, and when he left he said he’d call her the next day.
Mitchell’s assessment rang true one recent night to a 37-year-old California editor, who found out that his very hot date, a lawyer with “bad girl’s body,” was still a virgin at 28. I thought it was some cosmic joke, a comedy of errors, that she hadn’t lost her virginity.
They met at a party and left early so they could be alone at a bar. She thought it was tragic.” He talked her through it and she thought they had a connection.
“But that was the point when everything shifted.” Some people may think Amanda is unique, maybe even a freak.
But the fact is, there are a surprising number of women — smart, savvy and attractive women — who still haven’t lost their virginity into their 20s or 30s.
Where the proliferation of online dating fosters a culture of freewheeling, uncommitted hookups.