As the relationship ended because of a death, we can feel that it would never have otherwise ended.
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Yet, to really see the rewards of this, it is important to remember two things: you musn't compare (try not to think about how someone new is similar to your previous partner) and you musn't contrast (likewise, try not to focus on how the person you are dating is different to your ex.) The danger with comparing and contrasting is that anyone new will be measured according to an unachievable ideal.
To bear this in mind is important for anyone serious about beginning to move forward.
Do give yourself a chance – if your attempt at dating ends in tears, be kind and patient and applaud yourself for having given it a go.
Remember to keep taking chances with love and with life. Hilda Burke is a West-London based integrative psychotherapist, who has been working with clients on a broad range of issues, including bereavement, infertility, addiction, abuse and depression for four years.
It's important to remember, though, that moving on is not about ‘replacing’ or ‘forgetting’ about your loved one – it's about allowing yourself room for both treasured memories and new happiness.
This can mean different things for different people: some may want to get remarried, while others might want to start with friendship and go from there.
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This is true of both the past and of anyone new you might meet.
Indeed, you cannot expect that every new date will be perfection but you approach them with the right frame of mind.
Community Q&A It is no different than dating anyone else with a few exceptions.