If, however, you do not look at yourself and your behavior and what part they played in the failure of the relationship, you are doomed to repeat those mistakes in your next relationship. Ask yourself "What did I do wrong, and where can I improve?
" Are there skills that you need to develop or hone?
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Depending on your circumstances, when that final divorce decree comes through, you may have many different emotions.
You may also be sad that your dream to live happily ever after with your ex didn't pan out. Maybe the divorce process didn't go your way or perhaps you are angry with yourself for letting a good relationship go south; maybe you are still angry at your ex for cheating on you.
For example, I recognized that I needed to learn to (1) listen better, (2) apologize when wrong and (3) validate my spouse's feelings. Examine all of your key relationships (including family) for the past 20 or 30 years to determine what patterns show up.
Since you are the common element in all those relationships, you are likely to garner some enlightening information about yourself.
In any failed relationship, both people are responsible for its demise.
It is very easy to blame the other person and attribute the failure to her and her actions.
This is a time to heal and regroup, to look within to heal your battle wounds from the divorce.
The worst thing you can do is quickly get into a rebound relationship.
It is typical to feel like the anger or sadness have subsided, and then to have them resurface again. Although you feel like you have slipped backwards, you really have made progress. To do this, you must forgive yourself for whatever you feel you did wrong or could have done better.