Typical marriage advice doesn’t fit or apply to abusive relationships.
We love getting your emails and hearing how real couples are improving, strengthening, and even saving their marriages.
There’s just something so incredibly fulfilling about being even a small part of that.
First and foremost, while we totally support and encourage marriage, it’s important to recognize that the general marriage advice we give on our website is for couples in healthy, safe relationships.
Once physical or emotional abuse is involved, it’s a different ball game.
The same warning signs seemed to come up in almost every answer.
Please read through the 20 warning signs below and ask yourself if they apply to your partner.(NOTE: This is also a great self-evaluation tool for abusers to use to recognize the patterns of their behaviors when they express a desire to change.) Remember, it’s important to be with yourself when filling this out so that you can stop the abuse and heal.If you’ve been denying, minimizing, excusing, and hiding the abuse this can be a hard and scary step – but please know it’s worth it!We’ve encouraged couples to focus on forgiveness and not fairness.We’ve even told you to respond with love when you think “it’s not fair” or “I don’t deserve this.” Now all of this is still great marriage advice for a healthy, safe marriage.As Sheila Wray Gregoire says, “In many emotionally destructive marriages, [spouses] have spent years reading marriage books on how to make their marriages better.