This person was of a previous generation (or several previous generations), was living in the American south at the time, and had “what was best” for my husband and me at heart. Upon learning of our engagement, she clicked her tongue and a look like she’d just been told the ice cream she was eating was made out babies, crossed her face. And a couple times I was accused of “marrying a white guy to rebel against my Japanese parents”. Non-Japanese people in Japan often assumed that he’d come to Japan not only to do research, but also to find the “ideal Japanese wife”."Bachelor in Paradise" fans are still reeling after the shocking breakup of Carly Waddell and Kirk De Windt on the ABC dating show's Season 2 finale.
"And I knew that he was at least listening to his heart, and that's what we should all strive to do." Waddell said she did not mention De Windt's girlfriend during her appearance on "After Paradise" because she didn't think it was her place to do so.
THE FIRST TIME I got a whiff of judgement about my interracial marriage came from a close friend of my family. While some Japanese people looked upon his “fetish” with distaste. On my side, I got yelled at by older people while in a more traditional part of Japan for “denying my cultural identity” as a Japanese woman (I learned quickly how to say “I’m a Chinese person” — it didn’t always make a difference).
Her vet has no problem pronouncing her Chinese-Jewish hyphenate name, and the other cats only tease her because of that one time she fell into the toilet.) Though such interactions as the one above have been relatively few in my 10-year relationship with my now husband, I’d be lying if I said they didn’t happen. Living in Hawai’i was the most unremarkable my husband and I had ever felt in our marriage. The “worst” I ever got was a sincere question from a coworker asking me, “Is it ever hard for your husband to relate to your Chinese parents? I met my first Jewish person in graduate school.” It was in Japan that the reactions to our marriage in some ways intensified.
(NOTE: At the time of writing this, our cat is perfectly happy being the child of a mixed race household. (Bonus Experience Points if “God”, “Jesus” or “Bible” is called upon) 3. But upon moving off the US mainland, first to Hawai’i, then to Japan and Hong Kong, the reaction to our marriage began to evolve. If people commented on our racial differences, the comments often centered on me having married a “white guy.” Even then the comments were mild.
While on the US mainland many of the comments were geared more toward the fact that I am Asian, in Hawai’i my husband actually felt a bit more of the scrutiny.
Even when I was able to get through to people that I AM CHINESE AMERICAN, it didn’t seem to matter.
I was the only person sitting in the waiting area at the time. But was the situation something worth losing my cool over? In the grand scheme of interracial marriage judgements, this was amateur hour.
Most people assume I can’t understand Cantonese when they hear my American English. Hong Kong women, ABC women, they all want to hook up with those white guys. But what it did make me think about was the fact that no matter where I live, no matter where I go, there are always people that notice my marriage.
And because “polyamory requires you to negotiate everyone’s needs and make sure everyone feels met and understood, it requires an extreme capacity to communicate.” ... " * --------------------------------------------- * The refrain of "Triad," on the Jefferson Airplane's Crown of Creation album.
As far as I've been able to tell, that song (written by David Crosby; lyrics) was what established "triad" as the poly term for a relationship of three.
“The love you feel feels different,” Rachel Ruvinsky, a 22-year-old polyamorist told me, “not terms of quantity or quality, just how it feels.” ...“One clever solution to the unique dilemma the bachelor is in, would be to offer both finalists a relationship, more specifically, to be polyamorous,” says Rhonda Balzarini, a Ph D candidate studying polyamorous relationships at Western University in Ontario. As bland as Higgins seems to be, Balzarini thinks he could actually make a fantastic mainstream ambassador for polyamory.